Tumblelog by Soup.io
Newer posts are loading.
You are at the newest post.
Click here to check if anything new just came in.

May 23 2018

The Signs As John Mulaney Quotes

roxys:

Aries: And he was wearing reading glasses to show that time had passed.

Taurus: Why do people shush animals? They’ve never spoken!

Gemini: Shut up! You’re all gonna die. 

Cancer: Top three colleges? I thought I would be dead in a trunk.

Leo:  I try to stay optimistic, even though I must admit, things are getting pretty sticky.

Virgo: Just raise your hand and be like “I think Emily Dickson’s a lesbian!” and they’re like “Partial credit”

Libra: My wife is a bitch and I like her so much.

Scorpio: 13-year-olds are the meanest people in the world.

Sagittarius: There is a horse loose in a hospital!

Capricorn: Something happened here. You hope it’s a miracle, but probably not.

Aquarius: I’ll keep all my emotions right here. And then one day I’ll die.

Pisces: I am damp all the time. I am damp now and I will be damp later. Like the back of a dolphin, my back.

thunderboltsortofapenny:

nientedal:

crystallizedtwilight:

[Begin Movie Trailer]

Romeo: I would die for you.
Juliette: Okay, well, let’s make sure that doesn’t happen.
THIS SUMMER
(Begin upbeat/exciting background music)
Benvolio: She’s in love with Romeo but her parents want her to marry Royalty.
Mercutio: That’s where I come in.
SHAKESPEARE’S GREATEST TRAGEDY
Romeo (grinning in realization): A marriage of convenience.
Juliette (with hopeful laughter in voice): This could actually work!
NOW BECOMES
Romeo (to Mercutio): What do you get out of it?
Mercutio: My inheritance, my parents stop pushing girls on me, and I get to keep doing your cousin.
Benvolio: He gets to keep…yeah.
THE GREATEST COMEDY
(Shot of the four of them running through the streets, hollering, laughing with masquerade masks on)
(Shot of Romeo) Romeo: We just have to avoid getting caught for…ever.
(Tybalt talking to Paris) Tybalt: I don’t think they’re actually in love.
(Mercutio kissing Ben in an alley)
(Romeo taking Juliette’s hand as she smiles)
(Back to Tybalt and Paris) Tybalt: I’m going to get to the bottom of this.
(Shot of Benvolio) Benvolio: They won’t let us be together to we made things so we can be.
(Juliette in a courtyard, to Mercutio) Juliette: You need to be more careful, all four of our lives are at stake here.
(Tybalt and Mercutio at the wedding’s dessert table) Tybalt: If I ever find out that you were unfaithful to my cousin I will kill you.
Mercutio (music stop):………….cool, cool, good to know.
THIS TIME
(Another shot of a silly action sequence)
ROMEO AND JULIETTE
(More comedy)
HAVE A PLAN
(no music for finishing sequence)
Benvolio (denying Merc a kiss in public) We can’t…
Mercutio: (playfully) Is it because I’m married?
Benvolio: I don’t care that you’re married!…You know, in any other situation, that would make me sound so terrible–

What’s In a Name
JULY 2018
PG-13

(Spoiler: Tybalt ends up with Paris and helps guard their secret. Everyone lives)

YES.jpg

@ all my writer friends

4999 4b1f 500

mb-jordan:

I am Steve Rogers.

5014 e23b 500

prison-mikes-bandana:

Some of my favorite tweets about avengers infinity war by marvel actors and directors!!

5035 ce61

tsundereslasher:

Recruiting 101 by Clint Barton 

5045 95ed 500

valenshawke:

Inspiration this morning.

Link to Tweet

5068 e2db 500

bloodoxheart:

Born two years before the Battle of Endor, Poe Dameron was the son of Shara Bey and Kes Dameron, who both served the Alliance to Restore the Republic in the fight against the Galactic Empire during the Galactic Civil War.

5078 7448

ao3tagoftheday:

[Image Description: Tag reading “I will face canon and walk backwards into hell”]

The AO3 Tag of the Day is: And I will walk beside you

lesbuchanan:

Steve, softly and lovingly: How you been Buck? :)

T’Challa in the background: Steve you were here two days ago

kvothbloodless:

bumblebeebats:

It baffles and infuriates me that Hogwarts students don’t take Latin or Greek. Accio? Literally “I summon.” Lumos? Fucking “light.” Expelliarmus? Expel weapon!! Ooooh I wonder what Levicorpus does– you Dumb Ass Bastard. You ILLITERATE. It’s called Levicorpus, it lifts someone’s body, it LEVIES your goddamn CORPUS-

Hermione ghost wrote this

transguyrichie:

listen man, *pulls heart shaped lollipop out of my mouth with a pop noise and points it at you* im gay and not in the mood  

burplesnurf2:

burplesnurf2:

burplesnurf2:

burplesnurf2:

the cha cha slide in full metal armor

“sliiide to the left”

*indescribably loud screeching of metal against asphalt*

“one hop this time”

*clonk*

“two hops this time”

*clonk clonk*

“everybody clap your hands!”

*clankclankclankclankclank*

cheriesvoid:

scanalan:

prettydoddleoddle:

I want emo versions of idioms


Like, instead of ““you’re barking up the wrong tree” it’s “you’re panicking at the wrong disco”

You can lead a horse to Evanescence but you can’t bring him to life

im done

May 22 2018

5109 78b2 500

sebastiansource:

Sebastian Stan attends the 2018 Wizard World Comic Con at Pennsylvania Convention Center on May 19, 2018.

5124 e4f0 500

beardedchrisevans:

Chris Evans behind the scenes of the May 2016 Rolling Stone shoot

5138 0db4

stevenrogered:

Sebastian Stan + talking about his mom

5157 5117

fuckevans:

Good morning, sgt. Barnes.
Bucky.

5168 0749

thewintersoldiers:

Sebastian Stan talks shooting that ‘Avengers: Infinity War’ scene during his solo panel at Wizard World Philadelphia (May 19, 2018). (x)

5187 1ba5 500

alicexz:

It shouldn’t be you, but it is.

Some painting studies of EMOTION… follow my Instagram for eventual process video (and here’s my original tweet)!

Older posts are this way If this message doesn't go away, click anywhere on the page to continue loading posts.
Could not load more posts
Maybe Soup is currently being updated? I'll try again automatically in a few seconds...
Just a second, loading more posts...
You've reached the end.

Don't be the product, buy the product!

Schweinderl